I saw a sign the other day that made me laugh. It said something to the effect of “The one thing that binds us together as humans, regardless of our age, race, religion or social status is that, deep down, we all believe we are above average drivers.” Now, if Jimmy John’s can forgive me for this terrible paraphrase, I can forgive them for this crass generalization.
You don’t know me, Jimmy John’s.
I am a terrible driver. Certainly, I would not say that I am “above average.” Maybe I should say I’m a decent driver with terrible confidence.
Living in New Jersey for four years had its advantages - I never had to drive. Either the resources I needed were close enough to get to on foot or, if not, there was public transit that could take me where I needed to go. My university even had a public bus system spanning 3 towns. Let’s just say, I got spoiled. Then, moving to Wisconsin, I had a wake-up call. The grocery store closest to me is a little too far for comfortably toting bags. If I want fancier groceries or more variety, the next closest store is definitely too far. If I’m looking to have some fun, I can take the Metra to Chicago, but it doesn’t come as frequently to my town (Kenosha) as it does to other towns south of the border. You get the picture.
Eventually, the choice was laid clear before me. I could either live the rest of my life within a 3-mile radius (a prospect which gets gloomy even to a self-proclaimed home-body), or I could get back behind the wheel. It took a long time - more than a year of living here - to get up the courage to drive. But soon enough, driving three or four blocks turned into applying for and driving to a job in the next town. Then, as I started making new friends, I drove to towns 45 minutes away. My swearing off of highway driving didn’t last much past a couple of serendipitous (i.e. unintentional) re-routes from my GPS. This past summer, I was able to leave a job that wasn’t working out (one that was in a close driving distance) for a job as a camp counselor at Lutherdale Bible Camp in Elkhorn - an awesome opportunity that led me to where I am now: your chaplain at University of Wisconsin Whitewater.
It seems so odd to me now, looking back, to think that I would have let so many opportunities pass by because I thought myself incapable of doing something. Sure, I am still cautious when I drive, I always have to wear my glasses and sometimes I slow way down to make sure I’m not about to run over those stupid construction cones. But, in general, I’m past the point of letting fear stop me from doing what I want.
It seems so odd to me now, looking back, to think that I would have let so many opportunities pass by because I thought myself incapable of doing something. Sure, I am still cautious when I drive, I always have to wear my glasses and sometimes I slow way down to make sure I’m not about to run over those stupid construction cones. But, in general, I’m past the point of letting fear stop me from doing what I want.
In our faith lives, we need to break down barriers between us and God. For me, God is in experiencing the world, being around new people, doing new things and taking adventures. How much would I have missed out on if I had let my fear of driving turn into an obstinate refusal to do so? It had, for so long, been just that; I would get in arguments with my husband about my ability to drive saying things like “you know I don’t see well” and “do you want me to die just so we can have some groceries?”. That last argument would sometimes get so out of perspective that I would go as far as to blame him, saying, “Why can’t you just go to the grocery store? Can’t you make time to help around the house?” So, in so many ways, my fear of driving was separating me from the love of God. Not only was I missing out on a lot of rich experiences, but I was ready to sacrifice my relationships to save my pride.
I won’t go as far as to say I’m “above average” in driving, nor will I say that I am close to perfect in fixing all the things that separate me from God’s love (and it certainly isn’t for God’s lack of showing love, either). But I am improving and I want to share the good news that we all can know God a little better.
This week, I invite you to pray (one sure-fire way to strengthen our relationship with God) about those things which keep you from experiencing all of the gifts of the life you’ve been given. What are you afraid of doing? What have you put off? What - if you can dig a little deeper - have you blamed others for that is really a reflection of a way you blame yourself? I pray that you will know God a little better each day as you find new ways to know yourself and all you are capable of.
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